Breaking Generational Cycles: Your Time to Rewrite the Story

"Pues, en mis tiempos..."

How many times have we heard those words in our families, right?

The stories that echo the past, rooted in the traditions, struggles, and choices of previous generations. The ones that shape how we see the world, how we love, how we work, and how we live. But what if those stories no longer serve us? What if it’s time to break the cycle?

Being the first in your family to achieve something significant—whether it’s going to college, starting your own business, finding your voice, or living independently—can feel daunting. It’s like you’re the first person to step into the unknown, breaking free from generations of limiting beliefs, behaviors, and mindsets. But this is exactly what you’re meant to do: break the cycle. Here’s how.

Acknowledge the Cycle: Your Family’s "Pues En Mis Tiempos"

When you come from a family where certain beliefs or practices were the norm, they can feel ingrained in your identity. Perhaps your family always said, "Que van a decir o pensar de ti?" (What will they say or think about you?). Maybe you’ve been taught to always depend on someone else, or to tolerate mistreatment, or that certain behaviors are simply acceptable because they’ve always been part of the family story. These statements, these generational ideas, can shape our understanding of success, relationships, freedom, and worth.

The First Step: Awareness and Action

To break generational cycles, awareness is the first step. We must look at our families’ stories, and ask: What’s no longer serving me? What beliefs have been passed down that I want to challenge? Whether it’s allowing mistreatment, tolerating machismo, or putting up with outdated gender roles, we can choose to rewrite the narrative.

But awareness is only part of the journey. Action is what makes real change. It’s not enough to just acknowledge the patterns in your mind or heart—you must take active steps to break them. Whether it’s standing up for yourself when you’ve been silenced when you were told “calladita te vez mas bonita”, choosing a career path that’s different from your family’s expectations, or setting boundaries with loved ones who no longer respect your growth, taking action is where true transformation happens.

Boundaries: The Art of Loving from a Distance

As you break free, you might find that some relationships or family dynamics need a little more space. Boundaries are key here. You don’t have to cut people off to protect yourself, but you do need to establish clear boundaries that honor your well-being. Healthy boundaries allow you to love from a distance, respecting both your need for independence and the complexities of family love.

Remember, boundaries are not about punishment; they’re about respect—respect for yourself, for your growth, and for the people who are willing to meet you at a healthier place.

Do a Deep Dive: Spring Clean Your Habits

Just like we do spring cleaning to tidy up our spaces, we need to do the same for our habits and patterns. Take a deep dive into your behaviors, beliefs, and routines. What no longer brings you joy? What actions are you repeating because they were learned from your family but don’t make you feel good? What thought patterns need to be cleaned out to make room for healthier, more empowering beliefs?

This process might bring up discomfort. Some of those habits have kept you safe or have been protective, but if they no longer serve you, it’s time to let them go. Change can be difficult, but it’s also incredibly freeing.

Healing: The Key to Change

Healing is at the heart of breaking generational cycles. So many of these "tradiciones or costumbres" have hurt us, diminished our self-esteem, or created dysfunction in our relationships. But healing is possible, and it’s essential for the transformation you’re seeking. Whether it’s healing from trauma, old hurts, or limiting beliefs about your worth, healing is the foundation of lasting change.

Healing isn’t just about undoing the damage of the past—it’s also about building a new, stronger version of yourself. One who is free from the confines of old patterns, and who can live life authentically.

Rewrite Your Story: Honor Your Past, Embrace Your Future

As you break free from generational cycles, it’s time to rewrite your story. Think about your younger self—what do they need to heal? What parts of your family’s story do you want to let go of so that your younger self can grow into their fullest potential?

Now, think about your future self—what do you want them to thank you current self for? Maybe it’s the strength to go after your dreams, the courage to challenge old traditions, or the wisdom to break unhealthy cycles. Your time is now! This is your moment to honor your roots while embracing the change that will shape a new, healthier you.

Embrace Generational Healing

It’s hard to be the first to do something in your family. It’s challenging to step outside the expectations, the patterns, and the comfort of the familiar. But you have the power to break these cycles. By healing, setting boundaries, doing the work to challenge old patterns, and rewriting your story, you’re not just changing your life—you’re changing the trajectory of your family’s future.

Let’s break the cycle, together.